Insecurity
by Crofregernish
Summary: A story about a girl's greatest insecurities. Not fluffy or romancey, but hopefully inspirational. Implied shikaxoc


_DISCLAIMER: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, the characters or settings pertaining to Naruto. I, however, do own the OC and the plot._

_This story isn't the traditional song-fic, but it is! It was inspired by Kelly Clarkson's _Breakaway_. I do not own Kelly Clarkson or the song, but you could totally listen to it while you're reading. I'm a little apprehensive about how many times I'll replay by the time I finish… Ha-ha. The song just ended and went to _End of All Hope _(by Nightwish). Great omen, eh? _

_Right, so by the twelfth time of _Breakaway _I couldn't take it anymore and turned to Delta Goodrem. By the way, Sora means "sky"._

Sora Tanakadatte ran through her native Konoha. As she pushed past people, they yelled out behind her. She didn't listen. She didn't care. The only thoughts that entered her mind were of sprinting, running away from all her problems. Ino - a girl Sora was never particularly fond of - had pointed out every girl's biggest insecurity: weight.

Sora neared the opposite side of the village, her legs burned but she added no chakra. The pain was the only thing keeping her tied to reality, screaming the ugly truth there was no escaping. Though, reality didn't stop her. She could see the village walls as she entered the Academy's old flower field. Knowing she could not run farther, Sora gave into her limbs needs to rest and collapsed in the center of the field. Sprawled in the grass, her chest heaved up and down, aching with each breath. Somehow, it was all refreshing. The open sky, flowing grass, and fragrant flowers: it was the sight of ever-longed for freedom.

Sora stayed until the sun set, coming back day-after-day proceeding that terrible day. As much as she wished she could ignore Ino's words, they kept reverberating in her mind. _Do you ever even leave your house? No, you must be too busy eating! Get out and do a mission, be a ninja for once_. Sora had been skipping meals since, by then, almost two weeks later, she wasn't eating at all.

Leaving her house, she began to run. Passing her halfway mark, she began to feel sick, but didn't slow. Her head spun and dots of white were in her vision.

Sora opened her eyes slowly. Her whole body was too heavy too move, aching limbs of lead. As the room came into focus, it was unfamiliar and under decorated. Slow beeping was her only background noise.

"Sora, are you awake?" the voice's owner was unknown. "Sora, don't try to talk, okay? Let me explain what's going on. Nod if you understand."

Sora nodded.

"You fainted and are now in Konoha's hospital. You have a feeding tube in. You will not be able to talk until it is removed, but do not attempt it yourself."

The nurse waited to continue until Sora nodded.

"We need to ask you, Sora. Have you been eating?"

Silence was the only answer.

"Sora, no one can help you feel better unless you help us know what's going on." The nurse repeated, "Have you been eating?"

Hesitantly, the girl shook her head.

"Okay, let me go see Lady Tsunade about your release."

It seemed like hours to Sora for anyone to come back and by the time they did Sora's body had lightened tremendously. Lady Hokage did not knock before she entered, and instead let herself in with a nurse and boy in tow.

"Sora Tanakadatte?" Tsunade asked.

Sora nodded, her throat still a little sore.

"I'm going to release you, if you feel up to it."

"I do, Lady Tsunade." Sora wasn't entirely sure if she was, but had no desire of staying in a sterile environment longer than she had to.

"Make sure you take these, twice a day, to bring your electrolytes back to normal." Tsunade placed a pill bottle on the bedside table. "This is Shikamaru. He was two years ahead of you in the Academy, so I'm assuming you don't know him. He'll explain."

With that, Lady Tsunade and the nurse were gone, leaving Sora alone with a strange boy. His eyes were relaxed with a hint of sadness, but appeared deceivingly bored. His hands were in his pockets as he leaned against the wall unsure.

Sora decided to break the silence. "Why are you here?"

Shikamaru was shocked momentarily by her boldness, but quickly recovered. "Lady Tsunade wanted me to help you."

Anger flared up inside the girl. "Help? Help with what exactly? I'm not a raving lunatic."

Sora stood up, picking up her folded sweater and wrapping it around her hospital gown. She went to march out of the room but Shikamaru blocked the door. "Calm down."

"Don't you tell me to calm down! You don't even know me!" _No one really knows me anymore_.

Shikamaru pulled the door closed. "You're yelling."

"Get out of the way!" Sora began pounding on the boy's chest, tears forming in here eyes. "Let me out," she added quietly before her tears began to fall.

The chuunin backed her to the bed, Sora too weak to protest, and sat her on the edge. Kneeling in front of her, he said, "I know who you are. You're the girl Ino humiliated in front of the village. The girl who's been coming to the field since that day."

Sora stared dumbfounded at the boy in front of her, paying no notice to the tears still on her cheeks. "You were there the whole time? But… Then why didn't you say anything?"

"Will you come walk with me?" he asked, ignoring her question.

She sighed, but agreed. The two didn't speak as they walked the streets.

"Tsunade wanted me to make sure you were okay," Shikamaru stated suddenly.

"Well I'm fine," Sora retorted, surprised at how defensive she was.

"It's not like I asked her," the boy spat. "This is all so troublesome. If you women would just stop worrying about how you look, I wouldn't be here in the first place."

"Then go!" Sora was shouting. "Just leave me alone." Tears were beginning to fall down her face, a silent reminder of what Ino had said. "I'll see myself home."

_A girl clad in simple capris and a tank top was walking past a group of gossiping teenage girls. She was silently wishing she had worn sweat pants and a t-shirt. The blond in the group, Ino Yamanaka, looked over at the girl walking past her._

"_Well if it isn't Sora," she announced a smirk in her voice. "Where are you going, the ramen shop?" Her question was met with giggles from the others. The girl kept walking, trying to ignore Ino's voice behind her._

"_Do you ever even leave your house? No, you must be too busy eating! Get out and do a mission, be a ninja for once."_

_Two of Ino's friends took Sora's arms. "Let me go," she said weakly. People were starting to stare._

"_Oh, Sora, we're just going to give you a few reasons to be a ninja. One:" Ino pinched the girl's arm. "You need to work on your arms. Two:" Ino lifted up Sora's shirt just past her naval. "Frankly, a few sit-ups wouldn't kill you. Three: your thighs need some work." After pinching the crying girl's thigh, Ino's friends let her go._

_Sora ran to her apartment, leaving the cruel laughter in the distance. She showered, and then stood naked in front of her full length mirror examining what Ino had said. She sank to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest, and cried._

Sora slammed her apartment door behind her. She was almost reliving what Ino had done to her, but this time Sora was the one in control. She strode into her kitchen and began boiling water on her stovetop; while waiting she headed for her bathroom. Taking a kunai out of her ninja pouch and without a second thought, Sora ran it through her waist long hair. The shoulder-length locks fell to her shoulders. She kept cutting layers, and finally bangs before returning to the kitchen to finish her ramen.

After eating her first meal in days, Sora left her apartment for the local drugstore to pick up hair dye. As she sat on her front porch letting the black dye sink into her natural blond, Sora smiled. She was determined not to Ino win. It was mid-afternoon by the time Sora was done washing out the dye. A plan in mind, she dressed in a fitted kimono that hit mid-thigh and hurried out the door. Marching out her door, head held high, Sora made her way toward Konoha's main street.

The moment Sora saw Ino she stopped. She was sure of her plan, that was not what stopped her. What had stopped her was a certain boy in a green vest and pony tail talking to Ino. _Why is he there?_ she mentally questioned herself. It didn't matter; nothing was going to stop her. Shaking off the feeling of worry Shikamaru would interrupt the scheme, Sora strutted right to Ino. Sora gave the girl no chance to finish her snotty greeting as she punched her. Ino fell to the ground clutching her nose.

"Don't you ever try and humiliate me again, Ino," Sora warned, "or you'll get much, much worse than a broken nose."

Sora turned around, smiling to herself, and walked away from the bloodied blond. She let her feet carry her, not caring where she went or how long it took to get there. She was content. Ino was finally going to leave her alone, or she was going to kick her ass. Sora found herself in the same field she had always ran to. An ironic place to go, seeing as Ino was the one who inspired her arrival and return without even trying to.

"Ino's really mad," a voice said from behind her. She recognized it as Shikamaru's but didn't turn around.

"She deserved it."

"She probably did."

Sora sat down in the flowers, picking one up at random. Looking down at the daisy she held in her hand, she was reminded of the game all the girls used to play when they were younger._ He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not._ She went through it in her head, picking off petal after petal. As she did it, she realized she did have some sort of feelings for Shikamaru. He was a mystery, someone who was there for her when she needed him. Though, he didn't choose to be there, he also didn't refuse it. Sora had heard how much Shikamaru preferred to be alone, the name had rung familiar when Tsunade introduced him. The teachers at the Academy had mentioned his genius countless times. The mystery surrounding the boy was somewhat alluring, and she couldn't ignore the fact he had never asked her to leave.

"He loves you," Shikamaru whispered in her ear as she reached the last petal.


End file.
